Pete Reviews... Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl First things first, I did enjoy the movie... That being said, I still have to say "Fuck you, Disney!" It the first time I've ever found a company that ADMITS that it's name would not help to sell a movie, proving it by waiting until the ending credits to take credit for the whole goddamned thing... I've been tricked into seeing and enjoying a Disney film. A part of my soul has shriveled up and died... I mean, this company took Bambi, brain-child of Walt himself, and edited out "certain scenes" for content. I mean, c'mon! The mother's death scene?!? Death is a part of life! The earlier you learn that, the less it hurts in the long run... And that scene where Bambi's mom got shot... IT'S A RITE OF PASSAGE! Actually coping with something and not having it destroy your life is a lesson we all must learn... This scene gone takes away the entire point of this movie... Mike Izner, grow some balls... or take Walt's out of your mouth... we all know how you got to the top of the pole... polishing it... Now, I did enjoy this film. It did have it's flaws, but all movies do to me. One thing I can say, it has taught me a valuable lesson in life that I will take with me always: "Brush your teeth 3 times a day, floss regularly, and use mouthwash." For God's sake, the teeth in this movie... INSANE!... I can imagine orthodontist around the country crying... BTW, this review is NOT sponsored by the ADA. The film itself: Barbosa(Geoffry Rush): Great acting. Hollow character. This flaw is not with the character, but with the writing. He may have well spent all the filming running around the set saying "I'm evil! I'm evil! I want an apple!" Jack Sparrow(Jonny Depp): His jokes were written without thinking about main-stream America's IQ level. The boards were ablaze on IMDB.com not understanding most of the jokes in the movie period. One thing that got to me was how many people didn't know what a 'eunuch' was until someone had the brains to look it up. Frankly I'm surprised they could even spell dictionary.com. Will Turner(Orlando Bloom): Great actor, but not so much in this film, though. Might as well have a sign around his neck saying "Martyr for the Heroine". Thanks but I already saw "The Princess Bride." Nice try on imitating Westly, though. That was Cary Elwes part, not yours. Maybe you should stick to playing your 'High Elf (Level:GOD)'... Elizabeth Swann(Keira Knightley): Was it just me, or was Knightley cast because she looks just like Wynnona Ryder and Jonny Depp wanted to screw her? Her character appeared empty. She was just there to be rescued. That's it... oh, and to start a giant rum fire... The special effects in this movie were extraordinary! The skeletal effects were cool. And that guy with one eye?... Speaking of which, if the crew of "The Black Pearl" were such horrible, bloodthirsty pirates, why did they have comic relief? Honestly the best character in the movie was Jack... no, not Jonny Depp's character. The monkey! It's funny... He really was the most successful member of the original 'Friends' cast... He almost killed Dustin Hoffman and Renee Russo (Outbreak)... and Kevin Spacey was in that movie... he was the killer in Se7en... How can a monkey kill a killer?... and not be Brad Pitt?!... oh, wait... It was a good film even if I did figure out the plot twist based on the trailers. Enjoy the show.

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